#My best friends might not hold me in the same regard but they are those who can drop of the face of the planet for some time between convos

[catullansparrowlet]

Some say not needing human interaction every day is character flaw, that it means one is broken and in desperate need of fixing.

I consider myself at my healthiest and happiest when I'm not constantly stressed and frustrated by daily "What's up?"s I need to keep up with. I like my friends, sure, but I prefer them with a little distance between us.

[doberbutts]

Tbh I think the comparison to white people might be some simple us vs them thinking (maybe not all the time, though). White people complaining about oppression = nonsense/overeaggeration (if you're myopic), therefore comparing transmascs to white people is a way to call what they say nonsense. Or, if you're under the impression oppression=good person points, then white = bad/wrong, therefore transmascs are bad/wrong. Idk. Lots of these folks have some black/white thinking.

I think the answer is much easier than that.

The majority of people I see using the race analogy to draw a parallel of white vs black racism and trans man vs woman oppression are white themselves. Not everyone, but I would say my casual scroll of Bad Take Havers usually reveals whiteness here.

It does not surprise me at all that the very same white people doing this do not have the nuanced racial understanding to be able to reflect how, for instance, both black communities and latine communities experience racism in different yet similar ways, and how there is both bad blood and also shared history and solidarity between both communities, with many people who exist somewhere in between (afrolatinos) and people who exist completely outside of this equation (other marginalized races of color) or on the fringes (other mixed people of color but with only one of the involved races in this venn diagram) that also may experience their own oppression.

And so, they don't even think to use the comparison of black and Latino understanding, instead choosing to reach for white vs black racial dynamics. They don't have the understanding necessary to get why that's neither a good comparison nor is it a fair one to use especially when this particular conversation was started by trans mascs of color and how prior conversations regarding trans men and mascs occupying a marginalized gender were started by both (cis *and* trans) women of color and trans men and mascs of color.

It also does not escape my attention that those insisting that not only do trans men and mascs have privilege (something I do not completely disagree with, although I think as always it is more nuanced than "have" vs "have not") but also that trans men and mascs are specifically an *oppressor class* are also largely white, and show an inability to understand that "privilege" does not always equally translate to "oppressor". This comes to a head when discussing trans men in powerful positions- teachers, doctors, politicians, business owners, religious leaders, even celebrities- and whether they are pushing harmful rhetoric or if they are holding the line and refusing to budge.

And, while not true in all cases and certainly no one is perfect, because people are people and thus imperfect at the best of times, the majority of all trans people in power hold the line and refuse to budge regarding harm to our community. We can all think of examples- usually celebrities- of otherwise, but those pushing for laws and change are generally hand-in-hand with each other keeping step and refusing to leave their fellow siblings behind.

This does not mean that we cannot *contribute to* or even *lean on* transmisogyny- remember, there were cis women on the Supreme Court gleefully voting away abortion rights even though it directly affects them. There is no identity that makes you immune to bigoted bias, and no identity that protects you from doing harm to others. That is on each of us to do better, to each out in fellowship and solidarity to our fellow humans, and to lift each other out of the pit.

Much like how a Latino friend of mine may experience privilege in that he does not experience the antiblackness I do, and much how I may have privilege that I speak English as my mother tongue and he doesn't in this largely English-language-dominated country, neither of us are inherently each other's oppressors unless we are acting on oppressive bias. Intentionally or otherwise.

Oppression is action, not existence.

But again, I am not surprised a group of largely white people do not understand nearly enough of this nuance as it applies to race to then be able to apply it to gender.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

✨ let’s do a twst trade ✨

Hello ^^;;

This might be coming out of the blue. I’m typically a very private person and tend to stick with social circles I’m already familiar with.

Recently, I’ve been thinking that it would be nice to put myself out there and interact more! I can get easily overwhelmed, so I thought a good way to go about this is to do a handful of art/writing trades. This keeps the number low and conversation approachable, and I think that’d help slowly ease me into being more comfortable interacting and participating in community events.

***UPDATE: Trades now closed, thank you all for the interest!***

Here are the parameters and other important notes (setting these for my own comfort and lifestyle):

This will be a Twisted Wonderland themed trade because that’s the one thing we can guarantee to have in common.

I’ll write a fic for you! Minimum 1-2k words (but I tend to ramble so it could easily go higher than that), starring at least 2 characters (I can write more, but let’s not go too crazy and ask for all 22 NRC students in one fic).

I CAN write platonic, romantic, angst, fluff, yandere, AUs, etc.

I’m okay with writing any and all TWST characters, including staff, RSA students, family members, and other NPCs.

Of course, OCs are also welcome! I’d love to learn more about yours.

Be prepared with references for your OC(s) if applicable. This could include illustrations, but at the bare minimum should include a written explanation of who the character is, their personality, likes/dislikes, and relationships with canon characters.

There are limits to what I will write, as I am uncomfortable with some subject matters. For example, I’m not willing to write anything pregnancy-related. We can discuss my “no goes” in more detail if we decide to trade!

Upon request, I can do a simple digital piece of art OR a washi tape illustration (you won’t receive the physical piece, just a picture of it) for you. I believe most people know me more for my writing, but I wanted to keep these options on the table!

You trade me a fic of your own OR an artwork of roughly the same quantity/quality. As the saying goes, “what you give is what you get.”

We will talk and agree before we start on our pieces what each of us will generally provide at the end. (For example, a 5k word fic for a full color waist up illustration, 1k word fic for a black-white doodle, etc.)

You have to be okay with receiving a vague prompt. I like to be surprised, so I’ll probably just give you a list of general themes, ideas, and characters I like, then set you loose to see what you come up with.

You can be as specific as you like with your own prompt for me though—I’m flexible. Let me know what you don’t like as well so I can avoid including those elements.

To keep things fair, we’ll both hold onto our pieces and exchange them at the same time.

Regarding my written piece, it will be in a Google Doc for you to access.

This is NOT first come, first serve. I can only realistically take on 3-5 trades at this time depending on interest and complexity. If I turn you down, it’s nothing personal!

Priority will be given to mutuals (chances are that there’s more likely to be common ground if we’re already following each other).

Preference will be given to those indicated as adults in their blog intros/profiles (this is just what vibes the best with my personal communication style)

Be patient!! It may take me a few weeks or more to complete my part.

Be aware that doing a trade with me does NOT necessarily mean we will become best friends, and nor should this be the expectation 😅

If you’re okay with the above and are interested in a trade, please DM me! In your DM, you should indicate some prompts/ideas for what you’d like me to write. Please wait for me to respond; do NOT assume that I’ve accepted the trade request just because you’ve messaged me.

[wordbunch]

SFW Alphabet: Legolas

a/n: no idea who requested it, but boy am I glad they did!!! 💛 it will be big (just like my love for him) cause I got carried away, but I do hope you will enjoy it!! feedback and reblogs are always SO appreciated and mean a lot to me. and once again, Legolas is so AAAAA 😍😍😍

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) He is very affectionate and incredibly warm, subtly in front of others, but almost boundlessly when you two are alone. In a dangerous situation, even if you’re not alone, he won’t hesitate, though, to hug you as tightly as he needs to in order to reassure both himself and you that everything is alright. Legolas shows affection in any way possible: hugs, kisses wherever he can reach, holding your hand or just having a hand on your back/shoulders in public, touching your hair, even in the way he looks at you it is obvious how smitten he is.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) He would honestly be an amazing friend (canon!), loyal to a fault, protective, and even if paths of life take you away from each other, he’d always have love for you. It would start perhaps during an adventure of his? If not, maybe even in childhood. He really gives me lifelong friends vibes. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) To be fair, he didn’t have many cuddle sessions in his life, so he’s not exactly completely used to them, but he will savor every opportunity to shower his beloved with love so… if that is your preferred way of showing affection, he totally has nothing against it! But it wouldn’t be his number one expression of love and physical closeness. However, he cannot and won’t say no to a cuddle session after a demanding day, and he is quite a big fan of being the little spoon or laying with his head on your chest as your fingers brush through his shiny hair. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) He is a tidy person and he can clean his space decently well, but he cannot cook - a prince doesn’t exactly have to. If that is something you enjoy, he loves to hang around while you do it and he asks you questions, and offers to help, but he really isn’t too good at it. And regarding settling down, he is quite a youthful and restless spirit, but he is certain he wants to be where you are, no matter where it is. And if you’re willing to accompany him to random journeys and adventures and just be free together, he would be inexplicably happy. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) not today :)  hope this helps!

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) I feel like elves would be very proper regarding those things, and he is a prince so it would be kind of expected of him to get married. Before falling for you, he wasn’t extremely keen on the idea, and he would have done it if necessary for the stability of his realm, but you turned his world upside down and he wants nothing more but to be yours forever. Honestly he would like being kind of a trophy husband?? And he is so proud of being with you so he would like to officially crown your love. “Quickly” is a very relative term when it comes to elves… but I feel like he would go for it as soon as you give him a hint that you might want the same. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) VERY. Yes, he might be a super skilled warrior in many aspects, but when it comes to you, his touch is as light as a feather, and so are his lips against your skin, and his voice when he whispers words of adoration. I’d say that emotionally he’s really unproblematic, and attuned to his emotions, and he would be very careful with yours. Unless he’s having a really terrible day, then he might accidentally snap at you for nothing, but he regrets it in a millisecond; he’s still pretty young after all, and sometimes a random impulse will take over.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) He likes hugs and they’re one of the surest ways to comfort him if something is bothering him. Legolas basically melts into your embrace. Maybe you’re the one who initiates it a bit more, but you know how dear they are to him and you know they’re something that makes him feel very loved. When he hugs you, he will try to shield you from the outside world as much as possible, which is really sweet. Also, his arms and shoulders are literally perfect so the hugs feel super nice.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Ahh, what is quick for elves?? I feel like he would fall in love gradually, but it would show in his actions and facial expressions, until he slips up during some sweet moment between the two of you. He almost scolds himself for not making it a more special moment, worthy of his favorite person, but you’re relishing in it either way, and the blush on his usually pale cheeks is a very nice bonus! 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Legolas comes off as pretty confident, and he is, so jealousy isn’t an emotion that often plagues him. However, he is for sure slightly possessive (maybe it’s an elvish thing?), and what is his… is his. Deep down he is passionate, and he is feisty in his particular way, which sometimes comes out in the form of possessiveness too. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Gentle and plenty. He likes to kiss you everywhere he can, whenever he can, it’s one of his guilty pleasures. He wakes you up with a bunch of kisses all over your face, in public he often kisses your hand, but in private he might kiss each one of your fingers separately. Don’t even get me started on the neck kisses - he would never stop if he could. His sweet spots, which you discovered by accident but it was plain by the way that he inhaled, are right under his ear, and on the inside of his wrists. It is incredibly intimate, and something that only you will ever know and do.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) He is confused, for sure, since he’s not really been around too many children in his long life. Unsure of what to do, he stammers when kids ask him questions because they’re, unsurprisingly, fascinated by him, and he looks to you for guidance. You think it’s kind of charming, he literally seems scared which is an unusual look on him. If you’re good with children, he has a huge admiration for it, and he would definitely be an amazing dad one day.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Legolas is quite high on energy, so I think he’d prefer more active mornings - even better if he can finish early whatever he needs to do for the day, so that later he can be all yours without distractions. But on other occasions he thinks you just look too enticing to be left alone at dawn… he can’t help himself but hang around a little bit more when you look so peaceful, smell so amazing, and have the most kissable soft skin in the world…

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) He loves evenings and nights, especially clear and starry ones, he will never fail to be excited and it’s so cute. Legolas loves to go outside with you at night and stargaze, even though he might spend a solid amount of time gazing at you while you look at the brilliant sky. You have had so many long night walks also, and you have basically lost count. If the weather isn’t ideal, he will sit on the floor in front of you, while you’re on the bed, and have you braid his hair and tell you every single detail of his day (about the parts you weren’t around for), and then you’ll switch and he will braid your hair and listen to you.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) I’d say he is pretty easy to read, even if his facial expressions are subtle, so you can often guess his feelings based on that alone. He wants to sometimes play the part of a handsome, mysterious prince, but all it takes is for you to rake your fingers through his flawless hair for him to confess to anything ever. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) By you? Almost never. He will just get really upset if you found yourself alone in a very dangerous situation, and it could have been prevented. Generally he is also patient with others (he’s still royalty and needs to keep his behavior in check), until someone tries to mess with you, in whatever way. Then he doesn’t really care about politeness anymore.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) His memory is impeccable, no matter how much or how little you talk. If you say something, he will listen AND remember. Perhaps, though, he is just a tiny bit spoiled and he will expect you to be like that as well, but secretly. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) The first time the two of you went on some little journey alone. Whether it was just a one-day errand to check on something that happened in one area of the forest, or an entire visit to another kingdom, he treasures it so much. He likes to do things like that, and there is nothing better in all of Middle-earth than doing it with the person he loves more than anyone. At the same time it would activate his extra protective mode, but he would also be more free and unrestrained than he usually is, and it tugs on your heartstrings for sure.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Legolas is very protective and very quick to act. In his many years he has seen all kinds of horrors, and he knows how his mother’s death affected both him and his father, and he absolutely refuses to ever let anything bad happen to you, as much as it is in his power. First and foremost he physically protects you, but he is no stranger to speaking up for you if you need verbal defense. He really appreciates it when you sweep in if he’s having a boring conversation with someone and he is looking for a way out - although he’s friendly, he really hates dull conversations which are sometimes a given for a royal. So he’ll be forever grateful if you get him out of it. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Legolas firmly believes that you deserve the best of the best, every single day, but he can also get impatient while preparing something special for you, like having a piece of jewelry custom made. However, he still loves spoiling you and making you feel special, but he loves to feel spoiled as well. So both of you occasionally go all out and plan a special outing, or a dinner with the other’s favorite food, or just a little gift that is perfectly suited for the other person. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) He can sometimes be a bit impulsive and rash in using his words, and is quick to hit someone with a witty answer, which can end up being unnecessarily rude… but he is really growing out of it. He also gets very easily carried away in talking about something that he is passionate about, but you find it way more endearing than annoying. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Quite - have you seen him? But he is convinced he looks best when you help him pick out clothes, and especially when you braid his hair. He is also happy if the two of you match your clothes even in a very subtle way, but it shows your bond in a nice way.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Before falling in love with you, his answer would be no - he had a pretty decent life… however, he always felt a constant desire to keep searching for something, not knowing exactly what it is, but like something was missing from his life.. Lo and behold, when you two got together,  that feeling disappeared.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) He is fascinated by snow and thinks it’s really beautiful, and he doesn’t get to see much of it, so his fascination grows. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Someone who doesn’t have appreciation for smaller joys in life! Like, how can you not be absolutely amazed by those trees or these butterflies or that sunset from the other day! There is so much to love and marvel at in this world, and he will take any opportunity to do so, but he wants to share that feeling with his partner.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Doesn’t really need sleep, doesn’t sleep much, but he will let himself go a little bit if you happen to be cuddling him. 

✨ taglist my beloved ✨ @lotrnonsense​​​​​​ @starlady66​​​​​​ @queenmeriadoc​​ @entishramblings​​​​​​ @thesolarangel @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-place​​​​​​ @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr​​​​​​ @noldorinpainter @asianbutnotjapanese​​​​​​ @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste​​​​​​ @ironmandeficiency     @starryeyedrogue @dinofromspac3 @wisheduponastar​ @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll​ @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncrat @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth

[rainbowsky]

Heyy rainbowsky. I hope you're doing good. There's something that's been on my mind for a while regarding candies, esp the one regarding their social media and the ones that seem "intentional". Do you think these are directed at each other or to turtles. As a younger turtle I used to think it was for each other and would also see them as a stretch cause I couldn't see the point of putting so much effort in these if they were already together. But as I have taken a break and come back, (older and wiser i hope) and have myself found my footing in my queerness while still being largely closeted, I feel like I'm swaying more towards the latter. That they do this for the turtles, or more so for themselves and their identities. It's makes me think of how i wear a discreet rainbow bracelet as part of my everyday wear, ie, a quiet assertion of who i am to who is willing to see. What do you think about this? Also what do you think turtles represent for them? Do you also think for them, we are an escape from an otherwise homophobic and closeted world? I'd really like to know your perspective.

Hi Chaoticmoonlight! I'm getting by! I hope you're well, too! 😊

Well, these things don't have to be a case of either/or. They can serve multiple purposes at the same time. I think that when it comes to 'declarations of love', or a certain type of social media PDA in their posts (kadian, candies, etc.), it's almost always aimed at each other and at turtles simultaneously, as well as anyone else who knows them for who they are (friends, family, etc.).

If GG and DD want to send a message to each other, they can just pick up the phone. Doing so publicly or on social media inevitably involves an element of self-expression, and likely at times becomes a grander gesture because of the public nature of the message.

If a partner holds your hand at home, it's sweet. If they do it in public there's an added element of 'making a statement', of openly declaring their affection for you. This gesture can become more powerful as the risk of doing so increases.

I agree that it's also a lot like wearing a rainbow flag pin or carrying a rainbow tote bag, or all the other ways queer people express ourselves and show our colors. It's a way of being as open as possible about an important relationship, and about our identities.

I've posted about this a few times in the past. A very common misconception among most people - especially straight people, but even some queer people - is that closeted people will want to do everything in their power to hide their sexual orientation and relationship status/partner. I think this is a very misguided understanding of the closet.

People have a fundamental need to be seen, accepted and validated for who they are. It's not just a 'nice-to-have', it's something people truly need for their survival and well-being. People who don't get those needs met will generally not thrive, and will often suffer in deep and damaging ways.

A lot of people think the closet is a place where people go to stay safe, and therefore it's a 'safe space'. This is so untrue. The closet might be the best option among several bad options, but it's by no means a safe, happy place. It's often a place of loneliness, alienation, grief and pain. People don't generally stay in the closet because they're happy there - they stay there because coming out is more dangerous/scary than staying closeted.

The vast majority of people, if they knew that it was safe to come out, - that they'd be accepted, protected and respected - would do so in a heartbeat. But even from within the closet, there is still that need to be seen and known for who we are. Those needs don't go away just because someone is closeted.

Closeted people will often go out of their way to share as much as they possibly can about who they really are, right up to the line where they'd be fully outed.

Coming out is also not just a 'one and done' thing. It is a gradual process, and one that has to be repeated over and over again as the circle of 'those who know' expands over time. I talked about that in more detail here. The best way I can express it is to say,

people will be as 'out' as they are able to be at any given time.

For some people, being out among friends and family and showing some small under-the-radar expressions of Pride will be their personal safe limit. For others it might just be wearing a rainbow bracelet, or wearing their lover's scarf. That safe limit will often expand or shift over time. Sometimes it will even shrink. There's definitely such a thing as 'being thrown back/deeper into the closet'.

They might not be able to make a post sharing photos from a hiking trip they took together, but they can share enough information to ensure turtles know they took that trip (a special moment for both of them, not just turtles). They might not be able to post boasts and praise about their partner's successes and milestones, but they can in subtle ways express their joy so that those who know, know, and so their partner witnesses their praise. They might not be able to openly put their names side by side on charitable works, but turtles will do it for them.

GG and DD are in the unique position of having millions of people who believe they're a couple. While I'm sure it sometimes makes their experience of being closeted that much more terrifying (considering their relationship is being talked about so openly), I suspect that in most cases it makes their experience of being closeted much more bearable.

It's not just the gesture itself that is sweet. As I said earlier, the public nature of it - the fact that others are witnessing it - adds to the power and significance of it. GG seeing DD wearing a #29 helmet for racing practice on GG's 29th birthday no doubt made GG smile, but it likely also made him doubly happy to see us freaking out over it, and knowing that someone out there knows DD was celebrating him.

As I have said in the past, I feel like turtles probably give them strength as they deal with their day-to-day experience of being closeted and apart most of the time. This is a sentiment LRLG has often expressed, too.

Wishing you strength and support on your journey as well, chaotic-moonlight. There's no right or wrong way to be queer, and no timeline we have to meet. Being closeted in no way invalidates who we are.

Related posts:

Closeted Relationships

Coming Out

What BXG Might Mean to GGDD

About Kadian

Sun Wenjing and coming out in less than ideal circumstances

[pikxelbit]

A/N: let's pretend he's taller/the same height as you are

Slow Dance

Turbo x Reader | One shot | Fluff

Warnings: None

Prompt: A good dance for comfort.

It's been a few weeks, and you've noticed Turbo has been a bit of downer recently. Or well, let's just say he's not exactly acting the same way. Currently in the past few days you haven't really hung around him.

Gazing downwards, Turbo leaned gently on his car's hood. His mind churning slightly in disdain, the new games popularity has shaken him slightly. Although he was jealous, the one thing that bothered him the most was the frequent teasing and a few insults a few people have thrown at him these past few days. He knows it's stupid to even regard those hurtful remarks but he just couldn't help but get wounded. He isn't exactly perfect, he's a boastful jerk sometimes but whose to say he deserves getting hurt? Nothing really resolves well, even though it might humble him slightly, with enough repetition it could drive anyone in a low mood.

Heading towards Turbo Time, you looked around for Turbo. Having been busy for a few days didn't help with the situation as though it feels as if the connection between both of you are getting severed by the second. So deciding to leave early from your own duties, you try to find Turbo to at least check up on him.

Your interactions together haven't exactly changed that much, he's still getting you wrapped up in a witty banter sometimes, but other times he gets a bit more lost in thought when both of you are interacting with other characters. His charisma and confidence is still noticable, it seemed to have slowly settled down over the course of a few weeks.

Although you do try to get him to open up to you, he would just deflect you with a seemingly forced, charismatic reply saying he's doing just fine, he's Turbo after all...

Running through the wide open space, you head towards the garage. The garage door is seemingly open, and soon you finally find the familiar face you've been looking for.

"There you are," breathing heavily, your quick approach startled Turbo slightly.

"Huh..? Y/N?" He asked, quickly fixing his composure, a slight smile sprouting on his face.

"What? Is it wrong for me to visit my dear friend?" You replied in a joking tone.

He sighs, smiling slightly. With arms folded together, he stood up straight. Although seemingly happy, you could still sense he's in a bit of a downer mood.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in the past few days..." You asked, leaning forwards.

"Oh you know, I'm doing fine just as always!" He replies, his smile widening sightly in a forced manner.

Humming, you nodded slightly. Not falling for another facade of his, just then an idea strikes your mind.

"Are you doing anything?" You asked suddenly looking through the cabinets in the garage.

Confused, he watched you go through a few of them, "...no? What are you doing?"

Plugging the radio somewhere, you pick out a cassette tape randomly from the box and started playing it. You both found this radio a few days ago because of getting lucked in during a storm. Since then, this has been used frequently, and since them you have figured out Turbo's secret of liking dancing. He may not be the best in the sport but hey, he looked like he was having fun last time...

"What-" holding his wrist, you pull him towards you. Surprised, he only stared at you in confusion, his face starting to flush slightly.

"Let's get you out of that mood..." You mumble in a low tone, but being a bit too close however, he replies to you shortly afterwards, "What are you talking about."

"Well, since you're not doing anything, what if I try to teach you another dance?" You asked, your hand slowly sliding downwards to hold his own.

Still a bit confused, he hesitantly agrees. He didn't exactly understand why you'd do this, but holding his hand right now made his day a little brighter. He agrees he hasn't exactly been able to hang out with you, although he denies it, he grew to long for your presence. So agreeing, he does his best to follow suit.

...

Soon though, as the song suddenly transitions into a slower, much more relaxing tune, you casually help Turbo get his footing right. And soon you both started to waltz theough the room. Surprised, Turbo slightly looked a bit unsure. He didn't exactly expect this to turn into a slow dance. But he didn't exactly complain, he admits this was...quite nice.

Remaining silent, the song continues to play in the background as the melody gently guides both of you to a peaceful sway together. The tone continued to progress in a tranquil manner, the silence between both of you soon settling down. And as you both gaze into each other's eyes, you took this chance to gift him something you've been wanting to give for some time.

Slowly, you start to wrap your arms around him. Caught off guard he stops the waltz, his whole body tensing. Frozen in place, he stood still in your embrace as he felt his heart pound faster.

Tightening your embrace, you whisper,

"It's going to be okay..."

Even if you may not know exactly what he's going through, you really did just want him to feel...to know that he'll be okay. Things will be okay. No matter the problem or scenario, you just wanted to give him comfort. And to this, he just can't help but slowly melt in your arms. As his muscles loosen slowly, for this moment he lets himself bask under your comforting embrace. No longer caring for his own ego and pride, just this time he lets himself be a subject of your consolation.

Slowly, Turbo reciprocates. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he exhales deeply before letting himself relax against you. Closing his eyes, he cherishes this moment, feeling as if all the weight on his shoulders have gone.

And so as the tune slowly turns into a lullaby, you both slowly sway to the calm rythm of the song. Each having a blissful smile on your faces, you enjoy this moment of tranquility.

(Alternate ending)

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he lets himself lean forward. But once he does, you slightly stumble backwards because of his sudden weight. Finding the wall however, you let your back lean on it for support.

Seemingly in bliss though, once you both are somewhat settled in, Turbo then resumed to snuggle his face to your chest, a sweet smile widening on his features. As his embrace tightened around you, his face continued to flush red, a silly smile still stuck in place. He never wanted this moment to end.

Gradually though, you both then descended towards the floor. Sitting down, the warm embrace you both share still continues, your arms resting on his shoulders as Turbo lets himself go lower, his arms still wrapped around your waist.

[lifegoesonevenifeverybodyisgone]

Needle-Grass 03: Windsong and Avgust are kindred spirits (and a little bit of Windla)

Windsong and Avgust's age difference is the same between me and my youngest brother so their bond in the Rayashki story hits different. Like if I didn't have delays in college, then I would be in a field internship at this point or be writing my thesis. Like how is Windsong a doctor at 22!? I'm 21 and I am still doing readings and analysis, not going out in the field as the ONLY REMAINING researcher in your school of thought!

Anyways, back on my previous post, I can definitely tell that those two are kindred sprits since I first watched the Farewell, Rayashki. When Windsong and Avgust first met, Windsong's perception of him changes when it is clear that Avgust has a boundless wonder and curiousity for the world. (Perhaps just like him, she too had that boundless wonder and curiousity until it was stomped down by the people around her)

She was pretty formal and awkward with the people of Rayashki at first but from the get-go she already considered Avgust her friend.

It hits harder when you consider that Avgust is seen as the "weird kid" or someone that people don't easily understand. Early on from the first chapter, when he goes missing, Evgeni expresses annoyance on having to deal with Avgust's quirks.

Unlike Windsong's experience, at least he has Vila to defend and support him even if he is unconventional from the rest of the kids. Since he is the youngest of the kids and the most easily misunderstood, I noticed in official art and in the game that Vila is always holding Avgust close or affectionate to him. Now let's go back to when Vila and Windsong first met.

Vila overheard the conversation between Avgust and Windsong, which I believe is what caused Vila to be drawn towards Windsong in the first place (but of course, initially she is cautious).

NOW carefully look at the 03 Needle Grass, where Vila and Windsong have their intial conversations.

As we can see, the description for this part describes Avgust, Vila, and Windsong respectively. The main thing about this part is that it establishes the dynamics of the main three and begins the start of Windsong getting the support she needs and considering herself as part of Rayashki. In a sense, if this was a play, this is when the actors take their places on the stage.

So basically to summarize it, it basically starts with Vila checking Windsong out: asking her name and where she comes from, sniffs Windsong to check if she is hostile and check her intentions, and checking if Windsong is just a tourist or someone that has future plans on staying longer in Rayashki -> to eventually joining Rayashki.

When Windsong clarifies that she isn't like the other researchers and that regardless of the prospects she will still research, this confirms even further in Vila's head that Windsong might stay. Then right after when Windsong states about her surprise that she is accepted here and her insecurity regarding her ley lines research, Vila says:

I think even Vila sees how similar Avgust and Windsong with each other except Windsong was unable to get the support that she should have gotten from her environment. Other than that, she was drawn to her because Windsong has a good heart deep down despite their awkward first encounter.

Next, we cut to the kids' conversations with each other. Just like Evgeni, Pyotr also gets annoyed or bothered by Avgust and his quirks.

But carefully look at this, Avgust considers both Windsong and himself as "most" meaning best.

Except it leads to Pyotr thinking that Windsong is also a freak.

Of course the interaction leads to the kids asking Windsong a multitude of questions, shocking Windsong and telling them not to study it because people thinks its useless. Of course, Vila doesn't back down and asks Windsong if SHE thinks its useless too. Once Windsong reveals that ley lines is her passion project and shows how determined she is basically,

Vila is convinced and is like "yep, I want this one" then proceeds to hit on Windsong with a trifecta of physical touch, encouragement, and a winning smile:

[atlas-library]

Giggling and kicking my feet and twirling my hair and going "oh my gawd" every time I re-read the nsfw alphabet that you did of toge your brain is so huge💞 gigantic even. You said you don't think he talks during those times (understandable), but do you think he doesn't even like...say tuna? If he has to say something (best dirty talk ever)? Actually, do you think he ever has to fight off the urge to actually speak and say something during sex, and then gets like. Upset at himself inside?

Okay so first of all, I'm gonna cry, this is the sweetest comment ever omg 🥹🥹 I haven't given up on this blog btw, I haven't posted in a while but I just got sick + I have a new job starting soon + somehow the creative juice got sucked out of me, BUT I'M STILL HERE AND THIS COMMENT!!! IT GIVES ME MORE REASONS TO KEEP PESTERING Y'ALL!!! 😭😭😭 so yeah tysm for your comment it just made my night 🥹🥹💗💗

Okay, regarding your questions (nsfw, so find it under the cut!!)

I actually think he would use some rice-ingredient words!

In-between the moans and whimpers, the pants and grunts coming from you both, he would probably ask how you're doing— A small "Mustard leaf?", or even some "Tuna tuna!" when he feels you drift away. And if you ask him how he's holding up, he'd try to give you a shaky "S-salmon..!" so you keep going.

I just think overall he tries to keep quiet, mostly because of how insatiable he is and thus how long sessions can be— If it's his first or second orgasm, he's not necessarily going to slip out. He has enough control to remember he can't fully let go. The more you go on, though... well, you both remember the time when he screamed of pleasure— That was wild, even for him. Sometimes you leave him a crying mess, and all you can do is watch as he pants and lets out unintelligible whimpers.

I also definitely think he would try to say your name. I headcanon Toge with a speech impediment, mainly him stuttering and stammering because he doesn't often get to pronounce new words; he knows his commands by heart, as well as Yuuta's name (and even then, he would pronounce it "Yuuda" at first). However, I think he'd try very hard to pronounce everyone else's names correctly, especially if he got caught doing it and basically got the equivalent of a pat on the head. For his significant other, it's clear he'd try his hardest: he can't tell you how important you are to him, so he'll try to do something simple yet very meaningful for the both of you. He'll try to pronounce your name, without stuttering— And it might slip out during sex.

Whenever he uses it, even though it doesn't seem to affect him, it does affect you: you can't say if it's actual cursed energy or simply your feelings for him, but you find yourself staring at him, admiring his features and drinking any sound leaking from his lips.

🍵 Okay, let's take a breather now. 🍵

...

🍵 Breathe in.. breathe out. 🍵

About your last question— Toge's curse is being a passionate soul forced to silence. He hides it well, but he feels a lot; he's a control freak, similar to Maki (even though they'd never admit it), because that's how he hurts the least amount of people. Before the school, before Gojo, before Panda (his first friend)— Toge was alone. He wouldn't say a word, hands would be shoved against his mouth if he dared breathe too loud. The only person who never shushed him nor feared him ended up being cursed by him— Clearly, everyone's better off far away from him.

The problem is, Toge is a lover. I'm an Inuokko shipper first and foremost so this might be where this idea comes from, but, even platonically, I think Toge would be the one to relate most to Rika. They're like two sides of the same coin when it comes to love. @gelatosushix made a wonderful post about it, so I won't dive too deep into this, but basically: Rika kills when she loves, but Toge dies when he loves.

A common mistake would be comparing Toge to a moth, drawn to fire and getting burnt by it. Toge isn't the moth; he's the flame. You're the moth. He's captivating, he has this mysterious aura yet somehow seems like an open book, but only if you ask the right questions— Only if you learn his language (and I'm not talking about rice ingredients). He intoxicates you, draws you in with his gaze (whether a purple wine with violet droplets, or a fiery brown with amber lights).

Then, he pulls his collar down: tattoos, or maybe burn scars, marking his cheeks and tongue as death takes the form of a baby-faced man. He's a weapon, one even Maki can't wield. He's feared. And yet— The raspiness of his voice, the deep accents scratching his throat— They get to you. Stupid moth flying to its death. At least it'll be sweet, you think.

Toge kills for people, because killing goes hand-in-hand with dying in his case. Toge loves by pushing away; that's how it's always been, that's what he's been taught. Yet you're here— You're holding him, stroking his cheek, singing his name, giving yourself to him. It feels right, it feels like everything he's ever wanted, it feels like so little yet so much to him— And he hates it.

You deserve it all and he deserves nothing. You deserve words. Not silly ones, actual words— But he can't say it. He can't stutter that he loves you, because what if? He could curse you. He could ruin your life, and Toge's already ruined so many lives in the past— It weighs on his soul, yet he can endure it; as long as you're not the next accursed.

So he bites down. On your skin, on his hand, on the pillow— Anything, anywhere. He bites down to keep the sounds from coming out. And if you reassure him, tell him that you know, he doesn't need to say it— He starts crying. He hates himself, he hates his curse, he hates the fucking marks on his face.

His hips slam against yours, he grabs at your skin; you're near, he knows it. He knows you by heart, that's the least he can do.

Deeper, deeper, deeper— You reach the stars first, but he follows soon after. And he keeps crying. He cries the rest of the night, even with you holding him and whispering against his lips. He has to grab onto you so he doesn't run to the bathroom to desperatly try and wash his markings off.

Toge is a lover, a passionate soul forbidden from opening his heart; he hates emotional sex because of how much his heart bleeds from it. It ignites his flame, lures you in even more; and when his cries fill the room, when he hugs you tight— It's like you're a butterfly, pinned by the thorns of a rose you were drinking from.

[hilsonamore]

THOUGHTS ON S4 EP12, HOUSE M.D (pt.2)

“Don’t Ever Change”

So here’s part 2 because i haven’t said half of whatever the fuck is going on in my head rn-

BABE STOP LOOKING AT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WITH THOSE EYES AND JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY-

“You like that!”

“It’s annoying but she’s good at it”

“Wait a second- this isn’t just about the sex. You like her personality. You like that she’s conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequence. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves-“

Intense puppy brown eye stare

realisation

“Oh my god…you’re sleeping with me”

realises

holy actual SHIT

HOLD MY DAMN DRINK IM GOING INTO GAY PANIC MODE

LIKE- Do i even have to elaborate further on that? The fact that house is listing all these undesirable, questionable, anti-wilson qualities that characterise Amber, and then realises that… wait a damn second. THAT’S ME. And he realises that not only does wilson like that, he’s also attracted to that. He realises that his best friend has found someone who makes him happy, whose unconventional qualities aren’t regarded as off-putting and grotesque, and that that person just so happens to be a female version of himself. Like, no wonder my boy looks so flabbergasted.

“It’s annoying but she’s good at it”, is basically wilson’s way of telling house that, however annoying and mind-boggling and irritating he might be, he still likes him, he’s still there for him, he still acknowledges, despite all his unorthodox qualities, his brilliance and his goodness (which is basically the entire dynamic of their relationship), i-

And may i note, if this was just some “hahha you’re sleeping with the female version of me mate hahaha are you in love with me or something” house would NOT be so fucking awkward and DESPERATE to get away. Like, are y’all seeing what i’m seeing? My guy doesn’t do awkward. And yet-

Honestly, bisexuality was born in this scene and no one can convince me otherwise.

Next up!

This very normal conversation between two totally hetero boy-besties😔

“House you’re right. Why not? Why not date you? It’s brilliant. We’ve known each other for years, we’ve put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We’re a couple!”

“Are we still speaking metaphorically?”

“Amber is exactly what i need, and you would agree if you weren’t mired in self-loathing, topped with a thin crust of megalomania”

“Hey, that’s my best friend’s girl you’re talking about”

Okay but like… WHAT

First of all, wilson babe, house didn’t ever tell you “oh hey babe since you’re sleeping with the female version of me then you should just date the og version of me instead haha” in order for you to make that very-serious-joke, he just stated that “you’re sleeping with me”. So what’s your excuse? What’s your excuse for saying that out of nowhere other than in the hopes that amidst the jokey manner of your banter house would grasp on the opportunity, suggest you go find a closet (ha!) to make out in or just out-right tell everyone you’re together and because you’re both so stubborn neither would ever back down from this intense game of gay chicken- literally whyyyyyy?!?!?

My boy’s face doesn’t even have one ounce of “i’m just messing with you ahaha or am i!?!” he’s just like “yep, this was my plan all along, to date someone who’s a copy-paste of you to make you finally realise how intensely in love with each other we both are, you jealous lil shit-”.

Like, what in the gay old man yaoi shit is going on here?

And then, then there is this beautifully brilliant thing that wilson says that i haven’t actually seen anyone talk about and it’s driving me crazy.

“Amber is exactly what i need, and you would agree if you weren’t mired in self loathing, topped with a thin crust of megalomania”

Okay so um, we’ve already established that Amber is the female version of House. Like, their gender is the only thing that sets them apart, because otherwise they are the literal same person and they can both see that. And then this little shit of a puppy-brown-eyed-sexually-frustrated-closeted-little-shit of a doctor tells his best friend that his girlfriend, aka his alter ego, is exactly what he needs. He doesn’t just want her for sex, he wants her for her and everything that she is. Which is house with a different body type. He’s so unserious like what-

“And you would realise that if you weren’t mired in self-loathing, topped with a thin crust of megalomania”

What does his self-loathing have to do with anything? Ohhhh yeah, i get it, house’s self-loathing is preventing him from seeing that he is exactly what wilson needs in his life, right? Like, this is the literal translation of this statement, metaphorically or not. Otherwise, somebody come correct my language skills.

“She’s not me. Well, she is me. But that’s not why she’s attractive. She’s a needy version of me”

“Hard to imagine such a mythical creature”

aka you’re needy and i desire you carnally

…

“She wasn’t needy, she was.. in a bad situation. There’s a difference”

“Not to your libido”

aka either way you just want to sleep with me

…

Intense hungry, blue-eyed stare

“Well, if you’d looked at me with those eyes before i was involved…c’est la vie”

aka come here you lil-

…

Gay smile

im tired what the fuck more do i have to say-

i’ll probably make a part 3 but later on because i just spent 3 hours making these😔

[thememestrider]

Sfw Alphabet- Jago Sevetarion x F! Reader

Okay babes, here it is. As requested by the wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous @yanagikou, here is the sfw alphabet for Sevetar. I hope I did him justice. I did my due diligence in researching him, but he's not a character I'm very familiar with so. I did my best, but I apologise in advance if I've gotten anything supper wrong or ooc.

As usual, unedited, so sorry for any and all mistakes. Please enjoy and send thru any fic or hc requests cause I love doing them. They push me outside my comfort zone (like this one haha) and I love making content for others to enjoy :)

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Jago Sevetarion adores you like literally nothing else in the galaxy... but he has no idea how to show it. Like, sure, the general, more explicit-type ways of showing affection such as kissing and nsfw stuff, he understands. But the subtle stuff? Stuff like casual intimacy, loving words and soft physical touches that do not immediately lead to sharing a bed? The poor man has no understanding of it. Considering his background, however, this isn't surprising. That being said, however, after having some time to follow your example and get comfortable and familiar with the idea of physical expressions of affection, I can see Jago picking it up in some small way. For one, it's to show you he cares. That he's willing to change a few of his ways for your sake. But more importantly, it's to remind his brothers that you're his. That he is always within hand's reach of you. So, for the love of the False Emperor, they'd better stay the hell away from you or he will make them wish they were dead.

Once he is more comfortable with the idea of expressing affection, I can see Jago being a fan of pet names. He strikes me as that sort of man. A few suggestions could be "little one", "little bird" or "little lady." Anything that emphasises your size difference and the fact that you are his.

B - Best friend (What are they like as a friend? How would the friendship start?)

So long as you showed yourself to be loyal to him and his cause, I reckon Jago would be actually be a pretty good friend. He's quite charismatic and loyalty is one of, if not his strongest value. He's not the kind of friend to offer you a shoulder to cry on, but so long as you'd do the same for him, he would absolutely ride or die for you.

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

I'll be honest, even after he becomes familiar with physical affection, I struggle to see Jago being super into cuddling. To accept such physical comfort, to be that vulnerable with another living being, I think he would struggle to not see that as weakness. He might hold onto you in a more protective, possessive way, but don't expect anything particularly gentle or comforting from him in that regard.

D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Jago loves his life as a Night Lord. Delivering justice, executing punishment on those who deserve it (all according to him, of course), it's what he lives for. He truly believes in it. And he would want you to believe in it, too.

E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I don't really think I need to elaborate on how Jago might break up with you if he doesn't like you- you can put two and two together. However, if Jago still loves you, and it's circumstance that's forcing you two apart, I see it being a... tumultuous affair. He's not familiar with compassion or gentleness- even if he feels those things, he doesn't know how to express them, be it with his body or his words. Therefore, Jago would break up with you by either being so cold it drives you to leave yourself, or by ravishing you with harsh words. It's not malice, however, that makes him do this. It's to protect himself and his own hearts. Maybe if he acts like this doesn't hurt him, it won't. But, of course, it still will.

Now, if you broke up with Jago... Jesus Christ, babes, you don't know what you've done. Only person worse to break up with would be Konrad Curze himself. Whether you want it or not, Jago is your furious, heart-broken stalker shadow. And unlike someone like Sanguinius, who even amidst his possessiveness would balk at the thought of it causing you distress, Jago doesn't have any such concern. He's yours, you're his. Damn you for forgetting it, and damn anyone who thinks they can change it.

F - Fiancé (How to they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

Jago would want to marry you right away. One, because loyalty is everything to him. And two, for your protection. If you're cornered by a Night Lord who doesn't know better, being able to name drop Jago Sevetarion as your husband is a pretty sure-fire way to get him to leave you alone.

G - Gentle (How gentle are they? Both physically and emotionally?)

I think some of my previous answers have answered this one pretty well already: to the Night Lords, gentleness is a foreign concept at best and actively despised at worst. Jago might learn how to be gentle from you, and he might partake consciously for your benefit, but it doesn't come naturally to him.

H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)

Similar to cuddling. If Jago hugs you, it's because he's feeling possessive or protective of you. Now, that being said, if you were injured or in a particular state of distress, Jago would hug you in comfort. For as problematic as some of his behaviours may be, he still loves you. He adores you. He wants to keep you safe. And he wants you to know all of those things.

I - I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

A long, long time.

J - Jealous (How jealous do they get? What are they like when they're jealous?)

I might be a bit contrarion in this regard, but I don't see Jago being a jealous lover. Protective and possessive, absolutely, but not jealous. He's loyal, and if he's fallen in love with you, it's because he knows you're loyal too. And, as such, he trusts you absolutely. He also doesn't see any of his brothers as a potential 'threat'; he's the Primarch's favourite son, the best Night Lord there ever was: no one can compete with that.

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Fierce, hungry and so passionate it brims on obsession. Your lips are getting bitten, your breath is getting stolen, and for good measure, he might bite a chunk out of your neck or shoulder, too.

L - Little Ones (How are they around children?)

Honestly, if The Long Night short story is anything to go by, Jago might just be the best with children a Night Lord could hope to be. In general, he would be indifferent to kids, but if it was a kid that was close to you (say, a little sister or brother, for example) or a child who has been the victim of sin, Jago would try to be compassionate. He'd be a lot better at it since meeting you, too.

M - Mornings (How are morning spent with them?)

Jago is absolutely waking you up with a ravishing of fierce kisses. Nothing further your honour.

N - Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

Jago suffers from psychic headaches and nightmares, so nights with him would be pretty unsettled to say the least. They would, however, provide ample opportunity for you two to bond on an emotional level. If anything, these nights might just be the thing that bonds Jago to you forever. After waking from a nightmare or from a terrible headache, Jago can't hide that vulnerability from you, no matter how hard he tries. And when you answer that vulnerability with compassion- massaging his scalp until the pain fades or curling up on his chest so he might hold you while he settles back to a state of sleep- that shit is gonna change Jago somewhere deep in his soul. In those moments, he's going to be human again.

O - Openess (When will they start revealing things about themselves? Do they reveal things slowly over time or all at once?)

Jago's life might be wraught with pain and suffering, but he doesn't seem particularly affected by it, if you catch my drift. Therefore, he'd be relatively comfortable opening up to you. It would be presented as anecdotes or entertaining stories rather than seeking comfort, however. I imagine he'd be deeply entertained by any of your shocked reactions to some of his stories, too.

P - Patience (How easily are they angered?)

For a Night Lord- for a space marine, even- Jago is pretty patient. He's far from saintly (obviously) but his temper is something you can work with.

Q - Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail or do they forget the minor things?)

Jago feigns that he doesn't care about such things, but in truth he remembers everything. You are the object of his adoration- he's committed everything single little thing about you to memory.

R - Remember (What's their favourite memory of the relationship?)

That first time he woke from a psychic night terror and you were there to comfort him. He'd never admit this, not even to himself. But that moment means everything to him. It's the moment he realised that he needed you- not as a serf, but something so much deeper. It's the moment he fell in love with you.

S - Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I think I've answered this already. Jago knows how dangerous the Night Lords are to you, not to mention the galaxy as a whole. He protects you with unmatched ferocity and devotion. In spite of outward appearances, you're probably the safest person in the entire galaxy as Sevetar's wife.

T - Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts and everyday tasks?)

Much like R, Jago pretends he doesn't care about such things, but he does. And in his own, little ways, he shows it to you. It's sweet, really.

U - Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Possessiveness, overprotectiveness, borderline obsessiveness as well as a splash of astartes arrogance and night lords callousness.

V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not at all. This man slaughters people daily. He's covered in scars. He doesn't care about his looks at all.

W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He wouldn't know it at first, but absolutely he'd feel incomplete with you. If you were ever injured, captured or he almost lost you in some other way, the realisation would hit him like a bus. You could expect the protectiveness to get worse after that, too.

X - Xtra (A random head cannon for them)

If in some alternate timeline he was able to save Altani's life and take her with him, the three of you would become the most twisted but loving nuclear family. Jago would be a Night Lords girl dad, you'd be a big sis/aunt to Altani, and Altani would help further break down Jago's walls.

Y - Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like in a partner, or in general?)

Disloyalty, someone who did not accept him for him (excluding the areas where you help him grow/change for the better, of course)

Z - Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)

As mentioned back up in N, Jago struggles with sleep due to his psychic afflictions. Also as mentioned, your presence would help this greatly. I could even see him getting to the point where without you by his side, he couldn't sleep at all.

[stillness-in-green]

Project Update/Survey of Interest: The AFO Retcon Essay

Having cleared out the inbox, I thought I'd let everyone know where I am on one of the big projects I've been alluding to for a long while now, the big meta post/essay arguing that the possession plot (and therefore AFO as primary endgame villain) is, in so many words, a big stupid retcon. That essay is - for reasons I'll get into shortly - on the brink of a major change in focus, so I'd also like to gauge how much interest people have in its potential new form. Because it would be another huge one, make no mistake.

(Hit the jump.)

So, I recently started dabbling with a new word processor program and thought I'd try learning the ropes with the retcon essay; I then spent the better part of two weeks combing through chatlogs and my blog archive trying to compile all the evidence I'd want to consider to make that argument. Two nights ago, I looked at the list I had - almost fifty bullet points! - and had the horribly demoralizing realization that...

...You guys, I just don't think I believe it anymore.

Now, that's not to say I've come around on the possession plot, because I definitely haven't! Rather, my trust in Horikoshi as a writer has been so badly eroded by the state of the writing in the endgame that I no longer think even the earlier material is reliable evidence for where the story was going.

To pick the most prominent example, I always regarded AFO telling Best Jeanist at Kamino that his quirk "wouldn't suit Tomura" as one of my strongest pieces of evidence that the possession plot had not been in the cards at that time. After all, who in hell cares what quirks would or would not suit Tomura if AFO's plan, as stated in Chapter 380, was that he would wholly subsume Tomura's will?

Now, however - and Chapter 380 is a big part of this, too! - I look back on that moment and just think, wearily, "Was that ever true, or was Horikoshi just lying to us already, and the only difference between then and now is that back then the lies could hold for hundreds of chapters, whereas now they're revealed within a matter of pages?"

A chat friend letting me vent suggested that perhaps the line was just intended to foreshadow Shigaraki getting All For One (and therefore all the quirks held within it) and Horikoshi just didn't think through all the implications AFO's phrasing had on how that plot was going to go. That may be true, and it's a more generous read than I could muster at the time, but the end result is the same: If I can't trust that the writing was ever an accurate reflection of the characters and their intentions, I can't in good faith construct an argument relying on that writing.

What I think I can do, however, if people are interested, is broaden the overall thrust to something much bigger than just AFO.

I'm currently toying with the idea of a treatise-in-four-parts about the problems in the endgame. Each part would cover one major branch of related issues - they might need to be broken down into sub-parts themselves, if they run long enough! The whole thing would likely be much longer and more involved than my chapter posts; think something more like the PLF mass arrest essay. Following are my current ideas for how those four parts would fall out, as well as some example talking points for each:

Part 1: Shigaraki and the PLF. Would cover Shigaraki as a villain and what he and the forces he'd amassed circa the end of My Villain Academia stood to bring to the endgame, both ideologically and tactically. Would also cover where they actually wound up and some considerations as to why.           Example Subpoints: Demanding accountability from Hero Society rather than just focusing blame on singular evils; Shigaraki as representative of all previous Villains; the MLA's shift in portrayal between MVA and the endgame; the ludicrous string of nerfs Toga was subjected to; whether the MLA was only ever intended to be a mass of numbers to whittle down the equally massive numbers of the Heroes or whether they were reduced to that after poor reader reception.

Part 2: All For One's Impact. Would focus on the sharp drop in moral complexity AFO both suffered himself compared to his pre-Tartarus characterization and inflicted on the endgame both himself and with the caliber of minions he brought to the story.           Example Subpoints: AFO's inconsistent characterization; the moral reductiveness of the Demon Lord as endgame Villain; AFO and Yoichi's personal history; Vestige mechanics; the impact of AFO's inconsistency on Ujiko's portrayal; the Sekoto Peak Problem; the characterization and handling of the Tartarus escapees.

Part 3: Team Hero Is The Fucking Worst. Would focus on the multitudinous problems with the presentation and methodologies of the Heroes in the endgame. Might be two parts if it gets long enough that I decide to split it up into, like, one part on the adults/Pro Heroes and one on the kids or something.           Example Subpoints: The story's bad faith attempts to portray agents of government authority as scrappy, determined underdogs; why it's impossible to believe that the current heroic cast will be able to enact a satisfying resolution to all the structural problems the story has raised; That Stupid Fucking Mech Fight; the constant refusal to let consequences stick to the Heroes; the way the story both undercuts and oversells Deku as a protagonist, and the impact that has on the broader narrative; One For All and more Vestige Mechanics; The Problem of Hawks; the hospital riot; the Todoroki family's inaction.

Part 4: Other Issues. A catch-all area for anything else I trip over that doesn't fit in any of the categories above, or problems of a more meta-narrative sort.           Very Preliminary Example Subpoints: The lazy portrayal of civilian characters; meta-narrative examples of the unreliability of BNHA's late-stage writing, from simple errors overlooked in the highly demanding grind of Shonen Jump serialization to the much more damning abuse of the reader's expectations of the comic medium; idk probably lots of other stuff, I Have Many Problems.

That said, I now have to ask, how interested are you all in a project like that? A fair amount of it would be recycled from my chapter posts, but obviously it would cover stuff I never got to in those, and would be able to be written with more hindsight (especially if it's written mostly or entirely after the series ends!), as opposed to the constant problem of reacting to the story week-to-week.

I basically stopped writing the chapter posts for reasons of incessant negativity, and obviously, this would be more of that, but I mind the negativity a lot less when it's A) able to be more comprehensive and focused than meandering and piecemeal and B) in the form of a large project I can work on as I have the energy for it rather than a brand new project every single week. And, as I trust stuff like MVA In Memoriam and On Heteromorphobia make clear, I do like the idea of putting together a good, comprehensive, easy-to-reference tract on all those problems, as opposed to just letting my issues remain scattered across multiple years of chapter thoughts and bnha critical tags!

That said, it's a big project, and I do vent about these issues pretty constantly with chat and irl friends, so if there's not much interest from followers here, I would not find it hard to just let the whole thing go and turn my eyes to less intimidating fare instead.

(Current other projects include the usual roster of BNHA fic, another mid-length meta piece in the mode of the BNHA vs. Helck comparison from a while back, this time on Mamoru Hosoda's Belle, and a horrible temptation to try and write something thoughtful and even-handed about demons in Frieren: Beyond Journey's End to combat the reductive-ass takes on both sides of the argument I've been seeing all over the internet since its anime started. Also, every week I go without seeing a single damn MachtxGluck fanfic on AO3 is a week I get closer to trying to figure out a way into writing it myself.)

Do let me know! Also, feel free to chip in with anything you'd like to see me specifically talk about in an endgame analysis!

[oikasugayama]

I love love love your latest alignment chart! It was really cute but I had some thoughts on it and wanted to share! Specifically regarding the last ‘alignment’, being annoyed by your shyness and wanting you to be more confident.

I can somewhat understand the last one, that it can be frustrating when someone is so crippled by their own anxiousness that you feel the need to do everything for them, but at the same time, I’m like: If you’re so turned off/upset by one of your partner’s most prominent traits, why even date them at that point, y’know?

I’m sorry but I don’t think that those last four relationships are gonna last very long, no matter how much love you have for someone, unless change comes fast, I doubt that sort of dynamic would work long term.

In Ranpo’s case, his inability to read social cues and understand his partner’s struggle combined with the fact that he’s very vocal and blunt about his opinions and feelings, would probably lead to a pretty messy breakup where Ranpo’s left feeling frustrated, hurt and confused and his partner feeling sad, stupid and overdramatic (I’d feel stupid too if one of the smartest people in the world was visibly and vocally annoyed by my struggle.)

Now, Kunikida is an odd case, because while he’s a very good person and would be sympathetic, he holds his ideals and his schedule in such high regard that if repeated interruptions happened and kept happening due to this one ‘issue’, I think that he would eventually come to think it would be better for both parties if they split up. It’d be a somber and quiet thing and both would feel pretty shitty afterwards, with Kunikida wondering if he made the right choice and the partner blaming and beating themself up for ruining their relationship.

Fukuchi, in my opinion, sucks in general and the way his line is phrased, I’m pretty sure that he’d eventually just get fed up with his partner’s personality and dump them without warning because he’s an asshole like that and unpleasant surprises are his whole thing.

Mushitarou would probably last the longest because given his personality, you’d first of all need to be intimate friends with him to start dating in the first place and now, because you’re spending so much more time together, he’s only just noticing how bad your anxiety is and now that you feel comfortable enough to blatantly cling onto him, he’s also only now developing a proper dislike for your shyness. It’s like the childhood best friends who become roommates in college, ‘we’ve known each other for years, it’ll all be good!’ but because this new level of closeness introduces another side of a person, there’s a chance you’ll find that you’re not vibing with it. He’d try to make it work and there’s definitely a chance that it might but a likely possibility that it won’t and would end up resulting in a pretty bad breakdown which would leave both parties devastated for both the loss of a relationship and a friendship.

Now, I never said that getting back together wasn’t possible, I think that for everyone (except Fukuchi :/) there’s a chance that they could work things out and get back together but not for a LONG while. Because learning takes time and healing takes even longer.

-Sincerely, 💋

Thank you for your analysis! We were thinking some very similar things-- I'm glad that what I was implying without saying was still coming through. There are absolutely some relationships on my previous alignment chart that would NOT last, including the four you mentioned and also a couple of others who infantalize the shy!reader too much. I didn't include it, in short, bc I didn't wanna be negative and it low-key upset me myself to ponder who would break up w me for being anxious :p

As much as I love Kunikida, there are certain details about his lifestyle that don't mix with someone who's incredibly shy/timid/anxious, etc. He can be sympathetic but after a certain point it conflicts with his idealism. He'd take it hard and consider it a fault of his own that he couldn't make the relationship work, but he also wants his partner to be with their ideal partner and he wants his ideal partner as well.

Ranpo works well in a friendship with shy people like Poe bc he can push someone out of their comfort zone by basking them in his own confidence and aloofness, but I think that he'd prefer his romantic partner "take care of him" to some extent at home and if they're too anxious to do things like run errands alone, take the train with him to show him how, etc. he would feel like his needs weren't being met. That's no one's fault, honestly. Sometimes you just gotta find the right fit.

When I think of Mushitaro I think of his late friend/partner and that awful conflict within him. He can't let himself feel guilty, but he does. He won't let himself feel remorseful, but he does. He can't show his emotions so unfortunately no one knows how much he cared about that person, but he cared so much and is so devastated by what he was asked to do and by the fact that he had no other choice. His friend needed to be released from his pain and by using Mushitaro's ability no one would get in trouble for his death, and his friend/partner wouldn't have to end it himself. I can't imagine the depths of pain Mushitaro feels and I also can't imagine him being in a relationship at all, regardless of the situation. He just can't handle the pain of losing someone again, and he isn't healed from the previous loss.

Fukuchi's was absolutely appalling and I hope no one stays in a relationship where your partner hates a large quality of your personality and constantly tells you that you need to change it!!! Don't put up with that!!! It's so incredibly harmful to your mental health. If your partner isn't trying to uplift and support you, please know that you deserve someone who does.

[yuseirra]

Hello~ I have something to say because there's been something that's been on my mind, leaving me very depressed and concerned for the past couple months. I've been trying my best to be cheerful and uplifting but it's hurting me so much I just can't stand it...I have to be true to myself and let it all out, I feel like a stone's being pushed onto my chest, and I won't feel better without addressing it somewhere, so please pardon me, okay?

I'd been drawing a lot of project moon's fanworks earlier, remember how there's been an incident regarding limbus company and the artist being fired and whatnot? and then there's this stuff going about how fingers are drawn in maplestory, I have no idea about the details but something happened in arknights?? too? I don't play that game but still, well I'd been seeing a lot of these stuff happen for the past couple of months and since I come from a country where that's directly being taken place, I saw a lot of it happen firsthand except for some recent ones, it made me to go terminate my twitter which I had for a decade (I think I had it since 2013 or 2014. not that it matters now anyway, but I miss my friends I had there so much.)

I'm really hurt. It pains me so much to see people dig up a tweet someone's made several years ago using some kind of data crawler or archive and decide to get the mass to bring down a person over it, a person has many sides, how can you determine how exactly someone's feeling about something? and how can it lead to things like death threats, how can people be so eager to make someone "pay", I understand that people can be frustrated over some things, but where's the limit of these things? I felt so threatened and scared and upset, nothing bad's happened to me in person. All I've experienced is kindness and I am very grateful about it, but I can't say I'm not affected. Seeing a lot of things going around secondhand's been enough to put me through a lot of stress.

Some of my videos regarding projmoon's works had been very popular, you may have seen them if you're in the fandom! I used to be very proud of it. Now I'm upset and scared and I am pained, why can't I be as proud of them as I used to be, I put all my love into it back then. It's a terrible feeling. I have mixed feelings about having it up on my channel.. there's a part of me who love my works a lot.. and is happy about it having been able to give a lot of people joy. People have been enjoying it, and they've all been so kind about it. And then there's another part of me wishing I never made it in the first place because it really hurts and I'm reminded of these incidents whenever I see them. Which is such a pity, since I did a really great job with those. I'm still getting new comments with people telling me they are so impressed and all I could think about now is the.. all the, I don't know what to call all that..,

I'm scared that people might come after me and accuse of me being someone I am not, try to dig up my old tweets and find me problematic for doing something unfavorable for the fandom(not that I've said or done anything harmful in the past, I'm sure of that..I've ALWAYS tried my best to spread love when I could. I am confident about that.) maybe I'm being full of myself. Maybe people don't care about me or my works as much and I'll be okay but I have no idea how things will play out. I've been holding out till now, no one can say I didn't try..the fact that I've been keeping my works up there, I've been trying very hard to be strong in my own way (but at the same time I also felt like a coward for remaining in the status quo)

earlier I saw yt recommending me that library of ruina is getting a switch edition and I get reminded of all these stuff, I can't bear it. It hurts me so much. I've been holding this all in by myself since last july, maybe I'll have to take the videos down to make me feel better, but I'm not sure if I'll be safe that way. I deleted my twitter and now it comes to this, I won't delete my tumblr though. I love my experience as yuseirra and I'm happy for all I've received. I wish I could continue feeling that way, I want to believe in people, I want to care for them, and I don't want to think people will try to come after me and hurt me over the choices I make. So let me be strong, whatever I do, I'll do my best to be that way.

Thank you very much!! Lots of love!!

[themagnusbane]

I swear, in all these Only Friends discourse that has been raging since the finale dropped on Saturday, I wonder if anyone actually took a second to be like: this story is being told through the eyes of 20-21 year old college students. They are the mouthpiece through which this story is being narrated. Is it possible therefore that their age, their lack of experience, their slightly sheltered lives, might play a role in how they navigate their friendships, the world at large and how they react?

Like @jojotichakorn has started several times, and I agree a 100%; this story isn’t a morality lesson. Nobody is saying casual sex bad. You are evil if you’re non-monogamous. Blah blah blah. As a graysexual polyam person who just uses the term queer cuz it’s easier than me having a 30 mins convo with a stranger about my orientation and how everything intersects for me, this show was everything. Cuz PEOPLE ARE MESSY! People are messy and judgemental and annoying. Just because they’re queer doesn’t mean they WON’T be messy. I was especially a fucking shithead at 21. Hell, I was a virgin until I turned 22 (not quite as sanctimonious as Mew, thank SPIRIT!!). Who I am now at 33 is vastly different from who I was over a decade ago. I moved out at 22. Been living on my own for that time. The person I am today is a product of all I have seen and experienced. I lost the black and white lens through which I viewed the world, in that period of time.

And you know what? I do feel that these kids (cuz they are kids to me. I haven’t sat in a university class in almost 13 years 🤷🏾‍♀️), will grow, and learn and evolve. Boston I think will do fantastically well in New York. He will continue to come into his own. Will figure out what kind of relationships work best for him (both in regards to his friendships and his sexual and romantic—if he wants any—relationships), and he will thrive.

Mew will eventually get that stick out of his arse and get off his high horse. He will realize that people are messy, imperfect, and make mistakes, and that he too is flawed. And that is okay. That he doesn’t need to be burdened to replicate the perfect home life he had with his mothers. That hell, just because he fancies himself better than others, doesn’t mean that he isn’t as capable of the depraved things the human mind can conjure up 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Ray will probably battle with his addiction all his life. Will realize that battling addiction is a life-long process. Will lean on the support he has. Will probably learn to forgive his mum, and come to terms with her frailty as a human being, and what that meant with regards her suicide. He will also probably let himself admit that as much as he loved her, and wanted her to hold him and love him, he is justifiably angry at her that she did neither of those things, and then left him. He will probably confront his dad about the role he played, and didn’t play in all of this. He might decide to break up with Sand later. And they will still be good friends. Or Sand might be that ex he hasn’t spoken to in years, yet he still thinks of and smiles when he hears I Wanna Be Yours.

Same goes for Sand, and Top and Nick as well.

And who knows, at some point Cheum might realize that she can be quite the shitty friend. That she’s been a shitty friend. She might reach out to her now former friends, and honestly sincerely apologize. Or not. That’s another thing. Some people take forever to grow. And some don’t learn a lick from their experiences. And when time has passed and they looked back at all their burned bridges and try to reconnect, they are left with hands fluttering in the wind, and everyone they love out of reach 🤷🏾‍♀️.

But yeah. I don’t know about y’all. Maybe you were well adjusted uni students who were always right and knew the right words to say, and didn’t fuck up every other Saturday, and whose lives were peachy. But I was a dumbass, making dumbass choices, being a sanctimonious dumbass, and being an absolute menace. And that was how I watched the show. Knowing that this is a story of these kids, told to us by THESE kids. P’Jojo was just the conduit for their story. But it is ultimately THEIRS. I just watched it for them. Not for any moral lessons (this isn’t a parable or a fable. And I say this as someone who has been fascinated by mythology since I was 7), but to be entertained by the lives of these messy kids, crash-figuring their way to adulthood, and thanking the universe that my early 20s are way behind me, cuz fucking hell. That era of my life was some shit-show!

[acourtofthought]

It must be super lonely to be elain in the story right now. No one exerts any effort to really include her in things, feyre straight up said she doesn't see doing things with her, no one in the ic goes out of their way to hang out with her (which also makes elriel that much goofier to me because if they liked each other so much why wouldn't they attempt to be friends or spend any amount of time with each other, which no one would have objected to) my memory is a lil rusty but it really just sounds like she's off doing her own thing and helping the locals. she's trying her best to fit in but even cassian states that this place just isn't for her. I can't wait for her to get out of that place for real.

I completely agree with your point about Elain and Az not spending time together.

If Elain has feelings for Az and Az has feelings for Elain and Lucien is rarely around, why didn't they hanging out more? Why didn't Az help her to acclimate to life in the NC after she experienced her first war? We know Cassian wanted to be there for Nesta but Nesta pushed him away so it's a bit selfish that Az avoided Elain because he can't stand her mating bond when (to me) a true MMC love interest would put aside his own issues in order to be there for her. He'd be willing to suffer in order to make sure she's doing ok especially when, if he's any kind of male love interest at all (especially one living in the same court as her), he would realize she's bothered by Nesta's absence. Or he should know that if he's paying attention to her.

We know Lucien keeps his distance out of respect for what Elain wants (which is to not to interact with him right now, just as Nesta didn't want to interact with Cassian).

But Elain seemed fairly receptive to Az's company. So......what is Az's excuse? "I can't stand her bond" is not a good one because it shows he's more worried about himself than what she might need.

I do wonder how truly lonely she feels. I can't figure out if she's internally drowning because she's trying so hard to fit in and it's just not working (for herself or the others) or whether she's still convincing herself that she's fine. The NC is fine. Everything is fine.

Her POV will be fascinating to me because Elain seems to hold so much inside and we'll just never truly know her without it. Even her returning Az's necklace, was she furious? Was she disappointed? Did she realize after the fact she really wasn't that bothered? Her reactions are so controlled (even her fights with Nesta consisted of very direct points without us getting much on how she really felt about it all) and it's impossible to know if she's swearing like a sailor inside her head, wanting to break down in tears or internally repeating something like "just keep swimming" so she keeps moving forward and doesn't look back. Or maybe it's a combination of those things.

And yeah, Feyre flat out saying she'll never look to Elain as more than a pleasant companion........Elain could go almost anywhere else at this point and get a better reaction from others in regards to her company than that 😂

[leafofkudzu]

Hi! A bit short notice, but with the new year I’m planning on holding myself accountable for all the little event-related plans I’ve been making, the first of which is to work on setting up/hosting a GW2 art party!

What is an art party, you might ask? They’re common occurrences in the Final Fantasy XIV community, where artists of all kinds get together to chat, hang out, and create together! Spot a person you know or a character you like the design of? Draw them, take some screenshots, make some gifs, whatever you feel like! The ‘goal’ of attending an art party is not to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community! To that effect, we’ll be using the tag #VSArtParty over here and teeechnically on Twitter for those who still use it, so that others can easily find our creations!

This is my first time hosting a non-meta, non-raid related public event, so I’m intentionally keeping it small-scale by only posting about it here and in my guild discord, and when the time comes it’ll be in a private squad not listed in LFG to discourage any potential party-crashers. Should it go over well, expect to see me hosting ones every month in varying locales and maybe even with different themes!

Check under the cut for a bit more info on the location/times!

So I had previously asked people where they think a good setting for an art party might be, and uninstanced home instances with decent lighting were brought up, so I set my sights on the asura home instance in Rata Sum since I rarely see that used for anything. If you have a flying mount, it’s easily accessible by going straight northwest from the main city cube! Otherwise, you’ll need a Teleport to Friend to get over to the spot:

As mentioned before the cut, I fully intend to rotate between various other suitable locales for future events, but wanted to start here since it feels private enough to not be in anyone’s way unintentionally. It’s also open and well-lit to allow everyone to see each other clearly, which is definitely a plus considering we don’t have a way to inspect characters for a better look.

Regarding the date/time, I polled my guildmates on which night of the week would be best if we were to be hosting a recurring event, and Saturday came through as the best option for us. We have a tendency to base our stuff around in-game reset +/- 1 hour, so the same thing is at work here. Since we’re an NA-based guild, the event will only be hosted on NA servers, but if there’s interest I’d be willing to organize earlier events for people on EU servers in the future! There’s no set end time for the event since it’ll likely peter out on its own after a bit, but from my experience at FFXIV art parties I’d say to expect it to last maybe 4-5 hours at most.

Aaand finally, about the squad itself. Like I said before the cut, I’m going to keep the squad set to private and out of LFG to keep things a bit more chill, so to join you can either whisper my main, Teekzi, for an invite, or type ‘/sqjoin teekzi’ in chat to automatically pop in and get into the right instance!

That’s about all for now, expect me to reblog this a few times between now and the party! See you soon, hopefully! ♥